Monday, September 17, 2007

O.J.'s Latest

I'm sure you all have heard by now that O.J. Simpson (a.k.a. "The Murderer") was arrested in Vegas for trying to recoup some personal sports memorabilia he claims was "stolen".

Did he send the seller a letter saying, "Please give me my stuff back?" No.

Did he stop by the seller's room at the casino and say, "Hey dude. That's my stuff. Could I please have it back?" No.

Did he call the LVPD and say, "Hey! Some stuff of mine was stolen and now it's being sold. The guy who's selling it is at Room X at the Palms. Could you please help me with this?" No.

In a moment of clarity, did the Murderer simply shrug his shoulders and say, "Well, shit--simply because of my existence in this world, I've caused incalculable pain to so many people. I guess I had this coming to me. I'll let this guy sell my sports memorabilia, because no one in the their right mind would spend money on it anyway. After all, I'm a lying, murdering son-of-a-bitch. It makes no difference to me if he sells it or not"? No.

Instead, the Murderer got a little entourage of armed thugs together, rushed the seller's room, and had a huge confrontation with the seller. The Murderer then made off with "his" stuff. Naturally, the Murderer was arrested and is now in an isolation cell in a Las Vegas jail.

What is it with this asshole?

I hope the Judge denies the Murderer's bail, because he needs to sit in that isolation cell for awhile. We've seen the Murderer cannot control his temper nor his impulses. It's best he be kept in a cage because he can't behave like a rational human being.

What amazes me most of all is that the Murderer was in Vegas for a friend's wedding. The Murderer still has friends? This boggles my mind. The couple that's getting married actually asked the Murderer to be their guest at their wedding? Talk about bad luck. "On our first day as man and wife, we want to especially thank our dear friend, the Murderer, for making it all the way out to Vegas from Florida. Oh, and honey? Don't let him near that knife when we cut the cake! Haha! Just kidding Murder-- erm, O.J.!"

I wish he'd just spin off the face of the earth and we'd no longer have to hear ANYTHING about him. He is useless.

1 comment:

The Scarlet Pervygirl said...

Are you kidding? Ten fucking years from now we'd be seeing tabloid headlines at the grocery store checkout: "New Clues in the O.J. Space Disappearance: Was the Hubble Involved?"