Saturday, January 03, 2009

Resolutions.

From Craigslist (spelling, punctuation and screaming font all copied directly from ad):

AM STILL TRYING TO FIND MS. RIGHT FOR ME!!! I WANT TO LET ALL LADIES KNOW THAT AM A "BIG" OR "FAT" OR "OBESE" MAN, WHICHEVER IT IS!!! IF U DONT LIKE MEN IN THIS CATEGORY THAN THATS UR CHOICE!!! I DONT JUDGE PPL, BUT PPL JUDGE ME FOR MY WEIGHT, THE WORLD CAN BE SO CRUEL!!!! AM JUST LOOKING FOR A CARING LADY THAT IS A NON SMOKER AND WANTS A BIG MAN AND WILL LOVE ME FOR ME & NOT JUDGE ME!! PLEASE, PROVE ME WRONG BY SHOWING ME THAT THERE ARE STILL SOME CARING LADIES IN THIS WORLD!!! AM NOT RULING OUT LOSING WEIGHT BECAUSE I TRULY DO WANT TO GET HEALTHY AND LOSE WEIGHT, BUT RIGHT NOW I AM WHO I AM!!! I NEED A GOOD WOMAN TO LOVE ME AND HELP ME GET OUT OF ISOLATION!!! LET'S BRING IN THE NEW YEAR'S TOGETHER!!! IF SERIOUSLY INTERESTED, PLEASE EMAIL!!!

Good luck, Jim. Seriously. I am not trying to be facetious, nor am I being sarcastic in saying that I do sincerely hope you find that girl who will love you just as you are.

But Jim, may I please give you a bit of advice in your search for your lady?

Please don't ask that she love you just as you are, then stipulate what you require from her, i.e., that she be a non-smoker.

Because if you find someone who loves you just as you are, then... she's gonna love you "fat" or "obese". Please don't say you won't "rule out" losing weight. You want someone who'll love you when you're fat and she'll also love you when you get in shape.

What you're asking for in your ad just doesn't make sense, Jim.

Pot? Kettle.