Saturday, April 14, 2007

Chad Jones, 6684

After the bars let out the other night, I was treated to another freak show beneath my bedroom window.

A guy was walking up the street and boy was he pissed. He was screaming at the top of his lungs:

"THOSE FUCKERS STABBED ME IN THE HEAD. STABBED ME! COME ON! COME ON OUT! CHAD JONES 6684! CHAD JONES 6684! FUCKERS! FUCKERS FUCKING STABBED ME IN THE HEAD! 6684 MOTHERFUCKERS!" etc. Up the street Chad went, yelling, screaming, then he made a u-turn and came back down the street, screaming about getting stabbed in the head, how "they" had done this to him, and now where are they, they're hiding and they aren't gonna come out and face him.

A poor soul, apparently a friend waiting for him, said in a low voice to Chad, "Dude. Let me take you home. You'll feel so much better about this tomorrow." So Chad and his unfortunate babysitter left (in a car, natch).

Chad Jones 6684? Is this his spy number or something? "Jones. Chad Jones." Sitting at the roulette table in a tux, sipping a martini, with a big knife sticking out of his head.

So being the nosy bitch I am, the next morning I went downstairs right away to look for blood from 6684's head wound. No blood. No knife. No nothing!

I know-- the knife was a metaphor! That's it! Or maybe not. Maybe Chad is just a maniac with a drinking problem. Just like all the other drunks under my window.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

HA HA HA HA HA! I've never laughed so hard in my life! "Jones. Chad Jones." He should be the new guy in Casino Royale! There's a bad guy named Le Chiffre who BLEEDS from the corner of his eye. This guy could be him! I never checked to see if he had a knife sticking out of the back of his head, but I will the next time (#6) that I watch it.

The critical question: were they in your parking space? Maybe you could tell that story for everyone.

Nice to see you back!

-the Redhead

The Scarlet Pervygirl said...

Perhaps Chad Jones is a police officer, and 6684 is his badge number? The individual you describe sound like someone who may have, um, rendezvouses with them on a fairly frequent basis.

T-Bone said...

Pervy/Scarlet:

That's a really interesting observation. Maybe that's the case. However, I just checked the police roster, and there is no one named "Chad Jones".

It's a mystery for the ages.