I've been dating him for nine months.
He's everything on my list-- handsome, romantic, courteous, polite, funny, responsible, sweet, kind, easy-going, hard-working. He loves his family. He gets along great with my family. He loves me.
You may be thinking, "But what, T-Bone?"
The fact is, I don't mesh with his younger daughter.
He was just divorced recently, separated from his ex about a year ago. So naturally his kids-- especially the younger one-- feel pretty rotten about it.
The younger one is very suspicious of me and my position in her Dad's life. I think she's certain I'll steal him away from her. Obviously this is not the case, but children tend to think in terms of black and white.
In the early months dating, I made myself very scarce to the children, making sure the girls had complete, uninterrupted time with Daddy. I wanted to make sure they understood that they were first in his life, that I was a newcomer and wasn't there to steal him away.
I felt that if I were to eventually become a part of their family, it would be done gradually and that it was his responsibility to explain this to his daughters.
It has been explained, yet the younger daughter still treats me with a great deal of suspicion. Only when prompted, her lackluster, bland "hello" greets me. She shows little interest in engaging in conversation. When she answers my questions, they are "yes" or "no". She never looks me in the eye, except when I happen to catch her glance as she walks past me.
Like I mentioned, he's everything. But with being everything, he also has a daughter who I can foresee will be a problem.
It's not just her; it's him, too. They have a strange dynamic, an oddly strong (and in my view unhealthy) connection.
One night, children at their mother's, he and I were having "grown up time". In the middle of a very intimate sex act, his cell phone rang.
He flipped open the phone, saw it was her calling and answered the call.
Reader, this was my "Aha!" moment.
So we're at a decision point, he and I. He and I have discussed this at length. Things decided upon during these conversations: I've never had children, so I don't know what's going on with her; I don't spend enough time getting to know her; she has always been this way; she's this way with all of his friends; I need to join them on more family outings; etc., etc.
Basically, what it boils down to is that it's me that's the problem.
To him, the case is not-- why is she so clingy? Why is she so suspicious of me (although I'm a regular gal and her Mom is a drunken slut who's been living with some gangsta guy even before the divorce was final and she's already pregnant with his baby)? Why does she call Daddy three to five times a night when she's with Mommy (and why does Daddy answer the phone each time even if I'm giving him a blowjob)?
So I asked for two weeks off to think about things. He understood and most graciously let me go.
I'm not sure what I'll decide. Not sure when I'll decide it either.
Not sure I have the energy to try to win over a child. Not sure I need to, either.