Friday, June 20, 2008

Something to Avoid When Aunt Flo is Visiting.

Refrain from trying on bikinis at 6:00 p.m. Friday under the cruel, green fluorescent light of Target's fitting room.

I can guarantee that you will see a mottled, pale, saggy and bloated version of your former hot self, then you will wonder what the fuck happened.

Then, you will think of nothing else for the next two hours.

3 comments:

The Scarlet Pervygirl said...

It's amazing how one can be both bloated *and* saggy at the same time (and in the same body parts!), and I would just like to say you will not be hearing a peep of doubt from me because I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT.

Also, is it just me, or do Target's dressing room mirrors make zits look bigger than they do in any other mirrors in the world?

T-Bone said...

Scar, it's not just you. Yesterday, along with the sagging and bloating, I noticed a Vesuvizit on my jawline that did indeed look even larger than it actually was (read: gargantuan). I didn't think it possible. I obsessively touched it throughout the day and it seemed BIG, but under that cruel, green light, it did become LARGER THAN LIFE ITSELF.

I just read back over this post and our comments and think menstrual huts aren't such a bad idea.

the Redhead said...

Bikinis! You are brave. It's been a one-piece with men's surf shorts for me for about five years now!