Before bursting into song, I will let you know, dear readers, that I dabbled in "diligence" this evening; I washed one-third of my bathroom floor.
Then I said to myself, "Aw, fuck it. This is boring."
Virtue and proper deeds, Your Majesty?
Like what? Courage, Milord?
Purity and Humility, my liege?
Diligence? Charity? Honesty? Fidelity?
The seven deadly virtues? No, thank you, Your Majesty.
The seven deadly virtues, those ghastly little traps,
Oh, no, Milord, they weren't meant for me.
Those seven deadly virtues, they're made for other chaps,
Who love a life of failure and ennui.
Take Courage! Now there's a sport.
An invitation to the state of rigor mort!
And Purity! А noble yen!
And very restful ev'ry now and then.
I find Humility means to be hurt;
It's not the earth the meek inherit, it's the dirt.
Honesty is fatal and should be taboo.
Diligence? A fate I would hate.
If Charity means giving, I give it to you,
And Fidelity is only for your mate.
You'd never find a virtue unstatusing my quo,
Or making my Beelzebubble burst.
Let others take the high road, I will take the low;
I cannot wait to rush in where angels fear to go.
With all those seven deadly virtues,
Free and happy little me has not been cursed.
- "The Seven Deadly Virtues" from "Camelot" by Lerner and Loewe