Friday, November 16, 2007


After attending the Episcopalian funeral mass of a friend this week, Dad (the non-practicing, non-denominationalist guy) asked me (a baptised Episcopalian), "So why do Episcopalians consider themselves Catholic?"

"Welllll... it's been a long time since my catechism classes. Let me see if I can explain it properly," I drawled, rolling my eyes to the ceiling. "First, we believe in the Holy Trinity-- the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. We also believe in the sacraments-- baptism, the communion--"

"No you don't," he interjected.

"We don't?" I asked.

"See, I've taken a catechism class myself," Dad pontificated, "And if you're a Catholic, they won't allow non-Catholics to take communion during their services."

"So what?"

"Well, today we took communion at the service."

"That's right. The Episcopalian Church allows people of other faiths to take communion with them."

"Yeah. So Episcopalians are not Catholic."

ALLLLLLLLLrighty then!


Looking at my cat Layla, Dad asked, "What kind of kitty is Layla?"

"She's an Abyssinian," I answered.


"Yeah, I'm pretty sure she is," I said, gazing at Layla, who gazed back with her seemingly kohl-lined, emerald eyes.

"I don't think she is," said Dad with great certainty.

"No? Why not?" I asked.

"Well. I've seen pictures of Abyssinians and they're much more elongated than Layla is."

Okey dokey.


The Scarlet Pervygirl said...

Teeth-grinding, but interesting. Your earlier post about his comment on your mother's trembling voice set off the alarm bells, but now I definitely wonder in what way he's damaged and why he never got over it such that it makes him behave this way.

Regardless, I hope you're surviving the visit okay. Let me know if there's anything I can do.

Anonymous said...

You know what........ I had a clever razor-sharp comment all ready to post, and then I deleted it. After seeing him nothing you can say could possibly encapsulate it. Just say my lip is bitten through and my hands ache from trying not to swat him.

Dad: Well, that was the year the Hamlet Mustangs won the State AAA tournament, you know.

Redhead: AA.

T-Bone: Yeah, AA.

Dad: Nope, AAA.

Redhead and T-Bone: Actually, it was AA then.

Dad: Nope. AAA.

(Hands us old interesting newspapers with sports articles from state basketball tourney, 1974. He'd been saving them forever, adorned with headlines featuring the 1974 AA State Champion Hamlet Mustangs' march to glory.)

Dad: I've been saving these for you guys. Thought you might like seeing them.

Redhead: Cool! Thanks! Oh look, how fun. Look at their funny shorts, ha ha ha.

Dad: (peruses the papers) Hmm. AA. I guess you were right, T-Bone. It was AA after all.

T-Bone, Redhead: Yes.

And that's how it works! Fun + giving + always right = Dad.

--the R