Jew Food burst from my brain as a result of a forwarded email. This email asked we list, from A to Z, particular things in our life that we enjoy. I forwarded the email to my desired recipients, dutifully deleted the existing answers and added my own answers. After hitting "send", I had several responses from those who had received my forwarded email, and they supplied their answers in kind.
The Brunette, under Y, shared that she had recently fixed a Yummy meal-- "Swedish meatballs with latkes with lingonberry sauce" as something she'd made recently for her boyfriend and my nephew. It does sound good, doesn't it? But of course the Redhead and I couldn't just leave it at that. Rather, we honed in on the Brunette's idea that we have Jews in our family tree* and instead of saying to one another, "Wow. That does sound like a nice meal!", we started to feed off of one another about the Brunette fixing latkes.
Following is my A to Z list, originally prepared for the Redhead, of our purported Jewish heritage.
A- Anadama bread, which Marcy makes. She's a Jew.
B- Babushka, which our ancestors in Russia wore, and balaliaka, an instrument our Jewish ancestors probably played.
C- Cossacks, soldiers that raped and pillaged our Jewish ancestors in the ghetto in Russia, where we came from.
D- Dreidl, for Max.
E- Eastern Europe, where our ancestors probably walked on their way to Germany.
F- Frankincense. Gift for Jesus, who was a Jew.
G- Gifelte fish, which Jews eat.
H- Hannukah, which we celebrate right before Christmas, because we are part Jewish.
I- Israel, the holy land where our ancestors are from.
J- Judaism, which I practice around Hannukah.
K- Kosher kitchen, which I keep.
L- Latke. Good with Swedish meatballs and lingonberry sauce.
M- Moses, head Jew, and Madonna, studying Kaballah, mystical Jewish text.
N- New York. Lots of Jews live there.
O- Ohio. Not so many Jews.
P- Purim. Holiday that us Jews celebrate.
Q- Quest. That's what the Jews where on when they were in the desert for 40 years with Moses, head Jew.
R- Rabbi. Guy at temple on Saturday night.
S- Sandwich. It's what Jews eat for lunch.
T- Torah. The thing we read at temple on Saturdays.
U- Uvula. All Jews have them.
V- Verklempt. Yiddish word for how I'm feeling.
W- Why doesn't anyone believe I'm part Jewish?
X- Xray. Jews get these when they have broken arms.
Y- Yeshiva. Where rabbi studied.
Z- Zipper. We Jews have these on our pants.
* Which is fine, you understand. It is, however, unsupportable by any documentation we have of our family's heritage, which is why we give the Brunette such a hard time about it. We do love her very much, though!