I Never Knew This. I'm Forever Changed.

I sit here behind my desk stunned. The foundation of my life has been cracked. I will never again view humankind in the same light.

Prepare yourselves, readers.

According to a new study from Germany, when choosing a partner, men tend to overlook the subtle qualities in a woman and instead simply go for THE HOT WOMAN.

http://www.cnn.com/2007/TECH/science/09/04/dating.mating.ap/index.html

Because the Redhead and I are looking for ways to fund our Jane Austen pilgrimage to England, we have made a list of possible areas of study to submit to the nearest think-tank. Once we have our "study grant" ("airfare"), we will conduct in-depth, fact-finding missions to reveal truths about why:

- The lane you are in goes slower than the other ones

- The line you are in has one person finishing their shift, and a new one with a new tray of money

- They have boots in every size except yours

- If you don't water your plants, they die
- The store you go to had a big sale last week

- If you work out, you get smaller

- Teenagers treat their parents like shit
- Having your period hurts

- You will have a pus-filled zit at the corner of your mouth the morning of your wedding
- If you drink too much, you'll get a hangover

- If you eat McDonald's every day, you'll get fat

- If you watch too much TV, you won't get a lot of stuff done around the house

- They airbrush models in magazines, and
- Cats will vomit on your carpet, rugs, or bed before they'll vomit on the hardwood or linoleum floor.

I know, readers-- I know. It'll be difficult to view the world in the same way ever again.